How To Argue Constructively

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Every relationship has it's problems- whether it's at work, at home or anywhere you go. Remember that each person is unique, which is exactly why we have our different opinions about some things.



The thing about arguments though, whatever you do, the result is inevitable- the are going to be broken hearts and hurt feeling. However, i is very much possible to sort out your differences without turnings things ugly.

My grandmother, like many grandmothers out there has a lot of advice to give. She gave me a few tricks on how to argue, without jeopardising your relationship.

 1. Do not threaten your relationship. Remember that every relationship has it's problems, walking out is never an option, you have to respect the opinion of the other party. Do not threaten the other person that you will quit, it is not a wise move.

 2. A wise person is the one who knows when to talk, and when to shut up. This is important because no one like to hear you talking without a full stop. Give the other person a chance to talk, you will never know when they will come with valid points or a way around you differences.

3. One thing I hate is someone who starts an argument and then walk out on me. I find it disrespectful and childish. However, to avoid things getting worse, you sometimes have to walk. Come up with a solution, don't walk away!

 4. Count to 10 before talking. This helps avoid saying things that will destroy the other person, and your relationship forever.
 5. Let you feelings be know long before you argue. This will help the other person understand how the action that lead to the argument makes you feel.

 6. Do not bring up shit from the past. They may seem relevant to the current situation, but stock piling makes you look like a person who does not forgive. And just like everything else, it turns an argument into an ugly one.
 7. Do not raise your voice. One thing I pride myself in, is my ability of being polite, even if I feel like shit. Keep your voice down, it help the other person hear you, and helps them see how pointless the argument is

In my entire life, I remember only 3 times where I got very angry and started shouting out curse word and stuff. It made me look like a pushover, but it helped me avoid saying things that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Do not try to avoid your anger, do whatever you can to avoid rage.