10 Rules To A Successful Love Life

Have you ever noticed how many blog posts, magazine articles try answering this one question? How do I make my love last? How do I ensure that I have a long, successful relationship with my wife or girlfriend? The problem is that we are so desperate to answer this question, in such a way that we tend to ignore the more obvious answers.



I for one have had so many on and off relationships that I can't even remember. Yes, they are that many.🙈

Sometimes, the problem was not that the love wasn't there, just that WE were ignoring the basics. It came to a point where I started looking for someone more matured. Someone who will understand the basics of being in relationship, and that each person is unique and beautiful in their own way.

Guess what? I did, on MXit! I met this beautiful girl (who is now a woman, and the mother of my son, Lethabo.💞) who changed the way I thought about love and relationships for years to come.

We've been together for 4 years and in those 4 years I have seen it all. Break-ups and make-ups; moments that break your heart and moments that take your breath away; crying yourself to sleep and good laughter.💏

Now there are a number of lessons I have learnt and I want to share them with you!

1. Learn to swallow your pride and apologize when you have done wrong.
2. Mistakes will always be there, they make us human. Make them a way of learning. You just can't make the same mistake twice.
3. Grant attention when your significant other needs it. We live in a digital age, so give your partner full attention even on WhatsApp.
4. Speaking of social media, why don't you pay attention to what you post online? Also, learn to write your feelings on a journal instead of you Facebook wall.
5. I have 3 values: Faith; hope; and charity. Have faith in your relationship and be faithful to your partner. High hopes never hurt anyone. Cherish every moment you have.
6. Expectations are a big no no. Let the person live and love you the way they want to, don't expect them to be perfect for you.
7. Comunication is the most important thing in a relationship. This simply means that you should tell each other everything. I mean EVERYTHING.
8. "Get some perspective. Usually when we're worried or upset, it's because we've lost perspective." this is also true for when we're mad at each other in a relationship. Try walking in the other person's shoes, and if you still don't get better. Ask them for clarity without fighting.
9. Do you know what empathy is? Me neither, but I believe it is when you learn not to judge others.
10. "Love comes in many flavours." The sooner you realize that each person is unique, the better. Don't try to compare him with him. He is himself, and so is he. Get that?

There are lots of Dos and Don'ts, but these are the ones I have deemed most important and the ones that have been most helpful to me. Most of them come from the thousand mistakes I am not proud of.

The beauty of mistakes, are the lessons that come with them. I take pride in myself for having learnt from mine. And I have faith in myself that I will NEVER make them again.✌